Chai time

So now that i have been home for a few months and my mother very conveniently hid the coffee somewhere, which usually belongs to me, seriously she only takes it out when we have guests over now and when they prefer coffee over chai or when she is fasting. That is the only time i get to smell the aroma of the mighty drink.

Seriously though, i needed to find my fix of caffeine since i wasn’t allowed to have coffee at home. I, now, drink chai. No kidding! me?! Who never even wanted to taste it for the 20 years of my existence, now i consume it thrice a day at least. How did it come to this?

I never thought myself to be a chai person. I make it with soy milk but still! CHAI! I drink CHAI now and i feel like i am cheating on coffee every time i do it. And i like it, a part of me questions why i never had it before and a part of me is just baffled that i am drinking chai on a daily basis now. And it tastes so good! But i miss coffee but i love chai now and now i am ranting. It is freaking 2:32am and i wanna make a cup of tea. There were times when i would sneak coffee in my bedroom ( not alcohol, not boys….but yeah coffee. i am pretty badass) and hide it under my bed every time my parents knocked on my bedroom door, and now i don’t even bother sneaking around and making it. What is even happening to me?

Maybe i should just start mixing them both and have it. That would be a fun experiment and it does not taste all that bad from what i remember back when i had it in Thailand.

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I believe you

When you say you miss me

I also believe

All the silence

that you throw my way

It doesn’t make any noise

But hits hard enough

To leave a bruise for days

I believe you

When you say you’ve been hurt

I also believe

In that ache I feel

When you refuse

To acknowledge my hurting

I believe it all

The said

The unsaid

I just don’t know

If I believe

in myself anymore

To have the strength

To believe in us.

But there never was or is an us