Do you ever feel nostalgic for something that did not even happen?
Something you wished so bad would happen but never did, or maybe you never had the courage to let it happen or you tried your damnest for it to happen, but well, the universe had the upper hand.
Maybe you felt disappointed for a while but eventually realised that it was for the better or maybe you made yourself believe that it was probably for the better. So now when you lay awake around that 2am time, how does it feel when you look back at it? Is it nostalgia for something you imagined would happen? And the imagination was so overpowering that it almost felt real? Does it happen often?
Does it leave you feeling empty? Does your heart ache a little too much even today though it was a long time ago?
Whether you’re aching or empty, let me tell you something, something i feel is the reason the situation turned out to be the way it did. Maybe it is better it never happened, because what if the disappointment of it never reaching the level of your imagination was way more heartbreaking?
What if unknowingly you were in for more ache than fulfilment?
I am aware about the whole deal of what ifs and how you shouldn’t live in what ifs but it happened once and that is okay, what is not okay is being so hard on yourself for the sole reason of the not-happening.
And this could be taken as a lesson to be taken forward for the next time you hold yourself back from something. There is too much to talk and write about that which did not happen because of the speculations and the freedom of imagination, Maybe that is what is creating poetry for someone, some kind of art for someone.
So don’t feel disheartened, you tried, even if you didn’t think you did, you tried and the universe acknowledged it.
Been doing that thing where I listen to way too much music and zone out more than usual.
That thing I do where i completely lose myself in a book to the point where reality is what appears as a break.
More sleeping than usual, more staying in bed even if it’s just Laying around and not getting work done.
Taking road trips just for the heck of it and trying to accomplish the task of reading along with not wanting to miss out on the view.
Just sitting by the window when it starts raining and doing nothing but listening to the sound of rain.
A little more observing and less speaking.
August, you’ve been one taking-it-easy on the self kinda month so far.
For all i know
Falling for someone
has only felt like
my heart feeling heavier.
isn’t it suppose to be
the other way around?
This is that kind of a collection of poetry which will leave the readers either too underwhelmed or too overwhelmed. From what I have heard from people, this collection either became one of their absolute favourites or they were just gravely disappointed.
It is Divided into 4 parts, namely: the hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing.
Trigger warning: rape and sexual abuse.
There is not much that I can really say to give an idea about this book so I am just going to talk about how I felt about it.
I bought this book after hearing rave reviews about it in all the bookish communities everywhere. The day it was delivered I went to a café near my college and finished it in one sitting, no kidding, it does not take long. The writing is nothing fancy though, so if you are looking for a literary masterpiece that you can break down and analyze, I do not think this book is it. But I think the simplicity of it is what makes it so special amongst many other things. This collection of modern poetry that doesn’t take a lot from you while reading, you don’t have to mentally prepare yourself to read some heavy poetry kind of thing, it is easy to absorb. There no going out of your way to understand and relate to it, it just happens effortlessly.
And it is not like I rushed through, I took my time absorbing every word, every line and allowing myself to feel whatever it was making me feel. There were parts of it that I felt connected to so much that I just had to close the book for a few sections and take in the reality of it. There were times when I had tears in my eyes, times when I actually felt lonely while reading, maybe it was like the reading was getting me to feel more than I signed up for.
Towards the end of reading this, I felt like I personally knew the poetess. Rupi just put everything possible out there and it was so beautifully done! Needless to say, it obviously became one of my favourites.
This book is Raw and real.
Have you ever
Felt so distant from yourself
That you don’t recognise
Who you are anymore?
If I change
I change for myself
If I change
It will be because I know
that it is for the better
To do justice to who I really am
If I change this time around
it won't be to please anyone
Anxiety has always felt like this uninvited guest who cannot help but meddle with your schedule.