Being Done

Its funny how when you think you are really done with someone you go around telling others and casually (but not so casually) announce it time and again that “I’m done!”. Hoping that that “done” would be the official one for you and you’d believe it once you say it out loud. And then past midnight when you lay awake in your bed drunk or even sober, you realise that man you’re far from done. You’re still stuck in that place. You’re still holding on. Still holding on to the memories of that person hoping they would somehow make it better.

No matter how many times you say it out loud to let the world know in order to let yourself know that you have moved one, you know deep down that you haven’t because you feel that longing when you listen to a song in the club, read that piece of poetry, go back to your conversations, really fight the urge to drunk dial, go over your journal entries of that person, just anything and everything that even remotely reminds you of them.

It does not happen overnight, as much as you wish it did, it does not work that way. And now that you started announcing to the world, you do not want to be perceived weak ( or dare i say uncool) by them so you don’t let anyone know that you really are not done. You shed a few tears in lonesome and make up some kind of a story for your lost and sad mood for those times.

Eventually, You get busy with your life, with work, with school, a show or friends. Now, It is probably that phase where you stopped announcing it out loud every time you get drunk.

And then, suddenly, one fine day when you lay awake past midnight a voice whispers in your head “you really are done”. It happens when you least expect it. Just like that. Did you even acknowledge the process? Hardly, but it sure leaves an impact. Is there a need to say it out loud now? Nope. Your heart knows it, it is living it!

Being done is not an announcement that you scream at the top of your lungs, it is a soft whisper which only you can hear that speaks those liberating words to you.

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August till now

Been doing that thing where I listen to way too much music and zone out more than usual.

That thing I do where i completely lose myself in a book to the point where reality is what appears as a break.

More sleeping than usual, more staying in bed even if it’s just Laying around and not getting work done.

Taking road trips just for the heck of it and trying to accomplish the task of reading along with not wanting to miss out on the view.

Just sitting by the window when it starts raining and doing nothing but listening to the sound of rain.

A little more observing and less speaking.

August, you’ve been one taking-it-easy on the self kinda month so far.

21 random thoughts

  1. Why am i so lazy?
  2. I should take this song off repeat
  3. what day even is it?
  4. what? i am already a 100 pages into it!?
  5. Maybe i should get a belly button piercing.
  6. what about them rolls though?
  7. No! i shall not submit to the societal standards of beauty.
  8. I need coffee
  9.  Why is tea not like coffee?
  10.  Where is my phone?
  11. I should finish my report.
  12. What if my report isn’t good enough?
  13. How am i 21 already?
  14. But….but age is just a number.
  15. why is my room such a mess?
  16. Did i pray today?
  17. Shit! Isn’t it someone’s birthday today?!
  18. Maybe i should place an order for a book.
  19. i want a cat.
  20.  Maybe i should clean my room…or just make enough space for me to sleep. And quickly clean up in the morning before mom wakes up.
  21. how is this song still on repeat? Not that i am complaining.

 

My thoughts on Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey.

This is that kind of a collection of poetry which will leave the readers either too underwhelmed or too overwhelmed. From what I have heard from people, this collection either became one of their absolute favourites or they were just gravely disappointed.

It is Divided into 4 parts, namely: the hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing.

Trigger warning: rape and sexual abuse.

There is not much that I can really say to give an idea about this book so I am just going to talk about how I felt about it.

I bought this book after hearing rave reviews about it in all the bookish communities everywhere. The day it was delivered I went to a café near my college and finished it in one sitting, no kidding, it does not take long. The writing is nothing fancy though, so if you are looking for a literary masterpiece that you can break down and analyze, I do not think this book is it. But I think the simplicity of it is what makes it so special amongst many other things. This collection of modern poetry that doesn’t take a lot from you while reading, you don’t have to mentally prepare yourself to read some heavy poetry kind of thing, it is easy to absorb. There no going out of your way to understand and relate to it, it just happens effortlessly.

And it is not like I rushed through, I took my time absorbing every word, every line and allowing myself to feel whatever it was making me feel. There were parts of it that I felt connected to so much that I just had to close the book for a few sections and take in the reality of it. There were times when I had tears in my eyes, times when I actually felt lonely while reading, maybe it was like the reading was getting me to feel more than I signed up for.

Towards the end of reading this, I felt like I personally knew the poetess. Rupi just put everything possible out there and it was so beautifully done! Needless to say, it obviously became one of my favourites.

Rating: 5/5

This book is Raw and real.

The Twilight talk

 

I think it is better to start off with a little bit of a background here, of myself and that time when I read twilight and was clearly obsessed with it, anyone who knew me back in school knows that. I wasn’t subtle about it and wasn’t ashamed of it either.

I am a 21 year old girl in the third year of University. After all the literature I have read (not much, there is so much more, but I try), and all the people I have interacted with , readers and otherwise, and cleaning my bookshelf a while ago and finding the entire twilight saga has resulted into me typing out my thoughts about this particular series.

I read this entire series back in 9th grade and was pretty obsessed with it for a while; I would read in class, I would read it instead of focusing on homework and also replaced reading with socialising. Twilight is the first series I ever read and so it plays an important role in my reading journey. I mean I use to read before that but this series just put me on reading spree, something I realized was I could do and was capable of binge reading.

I am aware that twilight gets a lot of hate, on social media and otherwise, even in college there was a time when an entire class was spent criticising this series, and some of it I get. I understand and see the point of view of others and why they dislike it so much. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I can wrap my head around that. I am also aware of my own opinions here today more than I would’ve been when I was 14.

If I read twilight today I know that I would end up not liking it and would have a lot to say about it. When I think back at the time I was obsessed with it, I know today that some aspect of it I wouldn’t understand and would question myself. But I choose to not do that, I choose to not join in in those discussions that hate on twilight because it doesn’t settle well with me. I know this would probably not make sense to most people but I do not want to be disrespectful towards something that was comforting to me and had a positive impact on my life back then. No matter what I would think of it today, I do not want to hate on it just because I’d like to think of myself as a mature someone today and look down on that person who loved twilight and dismiss that as being immature. I can’t. It was something that was an escape from reality for me and 9th grade wasn’t all that easy, and twilight made it somewhat bearable.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be this way and I can just hate on it because everyone is but I don’t want to. Back then I had barely read anything; I wasn’t that much of a voracious reader that I am today, so I am thankful that I found twilight and it got me into the world of reading. Needless of my opinions today, I can’t bring myself to hate on it.

Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon – A Spoiler free brief review

The only reason I bought and dived right into this one was because of how much I enjoyed reading the sun is also a star.

Synopsis:

Eighteen year old Madeline Whittier has lived indoors for as long as she can remember. She has this rare kind of a disease which makes her allergic to literally everything which is why she cannot step into the outside world. So her constant companions are her mother and her nurse Carla, also her books. Her routines entail online classes, assignments, reading (a lot), playing games with her mother and just the kind of things that wouldn’t harm her health and wouldn’t require her to go outdoors. She has made her peace with her situation and goes on with her routine until one day new neighbour moves in next door and there obviously has to be a really cute guy her age as one of them. This new family is unlike Madeline’s, Olly the cute guy next door is the one who captures her attention and she obviously captures his. After stealing glances at each other enough for a few days they finally start to have a conversation.

And well, the rest is a book on it.

My review:

The concept of this book really sounded cool to me, it was unlike anything I had heard of before which was the second reason I picked it up. Madeline and Olly’s situations throughout the book really made me want to root for them, like I was just wanting for them to be together already! It was really nice to go with the flow of the story and see how it was unfolding. So it is safe to say that the book started off really well for me, more than halfway through it I was really enjoying it. The writing style was simple with a few illustrations here and there, it is fun to read these kinds of books. Sort of like breaking the monotony and getting a personalized view of the character.

The plot seemed to be going really well for a while with Maddy and Olly’s interactions and everything. I almost would’ve loved this book if it wasn’t for the ending. That is the only reason it did not live up to my expectations. That was just SOME ending! I did not see that coming!

But anyway, I did enjoy reading it.

Rating: 3/5

The ultimate Harry Potter tag

This tag was created by Isabeau’s Literary Musings .

I know i am a day late to celebrate Harry Potter but hey! everyday is Harry potter day if you want it to be.

GENERAL

  1. Favourite book?

It is really hard pick a favourite one but I remember how much I absolutely loved Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I still do, I feel like picking that book up everyday.

  1. Least favourite book?

Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix for some Sirius reasons.

  1. Favourite movie?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone because that is where it all began and  every time that movie starts it makes me feel like home.

4 Least favourite movie?

Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix, I wish the movie was longer

5 Favourite quote?

  • “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

CHARACTERS

  1. Favourite Weasley?

Ginny Weasly, she is badass!

  1. Favourite female character?

I mean I want to say Hermione but I also relate with Luna.

  1. Favourite villain?

Tom Marvolo Riddle

  1. Favourite male character?

Sirius Black, just always, Sirius Black. But also Hagrid!

  1. Favorite professor?

WOULD YOU RATHER

  1. A, Wash Snape’s hair, or B, spend a day listening to Lockhart rant about himself.

I would rather wash Snape’s hair! Cannot tolerate Lockhart.

  1. A, duel an elated Bellatrix,or B, an angry Molly

Wouldnt wanna mess with Molly, so duel Bellatrix.

  1. Travel to Hogwarts via A. Hogwarts Expressor B. flying car.

The Hogwarts Express! That is the dream!

  1. A, Kiss Voldemort. Or B, give Umbridge a bubble bath.

I would rather kiss Voldemort.

  1. A, ride a hippogriff, B, ride a firebolt

Duh?! A firebolt!

BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATION

  1. Is there a character which you felt differently about in the movies vs books?

That one time when Dumblebore wasn’t shown as calm and collected during the Goblet of fire.

  1. Is there a movie you preferred instead of the book?

I do not think that is possible

  1. Richard Harris or Michael Gambon as Dumbledore?

Michael Gambon

  1. Your top thing (person or event) which wasn’t included in the movie that annoyed you most.

Wish there was more of Fluer and Bill

 20.If you could remake any of the Potter movies, which would it be?

The Order of the Phoenix.

HOGWARTS

  1. Which house was your first gut feeling you’d be a part of?

Hufflepuff

  1. Which house were you actually sorted into on Pottemore (or another online sorting quiz)?

  1. Which class would be your favourite?

Charms I think

  1. Which spell do you think would be most useful to learn?

Accio because I am pretty lazy

  1. Which character do you think at Hogwarts you’d instantly become best friends with?

Luna Lovegood

MISCELLANEOUS

  1. If you could own one of the three Hallows, which would it be?

The invisibility cloak.

  1. Is there any aspect of the books you’d want to change? This can be a character, an event, anything.

I just wish Dobby and Hedwig hadn’t died.

  1. Favourite marauder?

After all this time that i mentioned Sirius. It’s got to be him.

  1. If you could bring one character back to life, which would it be?

Dobby

  1. Hallows or horcruxes?

Hallows honestly sound much cooler

So there goes my Harry Potter tag! If only i could just stay in bed and binge read Harry Potter series all over again.